In Italian, there is a phrase which is commonly used to describe a man who likes to show off his assets: Un uomo che si pavoneggia, this roughly translates to ‘a man who likes to strut around like a peacock’.

Mating rituals in peafowl, (which collectively talks about male peacocks and female peahens), are usually marked by peacocks widening their flashy displays of brilliant blue and green tail feathers and more modest discerning female peahens.

Dating rituals throughout the years have pretty much consisted of this routine and romantic relationships are just as important today as they are in the animal kingdom and as they are in our human pasts. But what seems to have fundamentally changed, is the way we meet one another.

Traditionally, couples would meet at work, be introduced by friends, or catch each other’s eyes across the dance floor.

Classic dating may have occasionally involved blind dates and meetings setup by well-meaning friends, but never before has there been such a ruthless and transient system for finding and meeting prospective partners. The world of online dating has made it possible to find local singles, and meet up with multiple potentials – all in one night if we want to!

Online dating gives you a streamlined catalogue of options, where we are judged, not on an impression from a real encounter, but on how we can present ourselves on a virtual platform. Now, our success in dating – and our prospective happiness in love – depends on having a snappy tagline and an attractive selfie.

How People Used to Meet

Without the convenience of the internet, just how did people meet one another in the ‘olden days’? We need to keep in mind that the internet, email and online dating has existed for less than 40 years in the 6,000 years of human history. The 7.5bn people on the face of the earth today are testament to the fact that people have been hooking up and having children seemingly without trouble for centuries.

It might be hard to imagine life without your smartphone, but believe it or not, we used to actually leave our homes in order to meet other people.

How people met in order to begin romantic relationships varies depending on the historical and cultural factors that surrounded them. So, what does the historical landscape of dating look like?

Family-arranged meetings were perhaps the earliest form of dating as we know it. Dating, or to give it its proper name, ‘courtship’, was considered the necessary path to marriage. Marriage was the end goal, and parents were involved to make sure the decision protected the family wealth and reputation. Courtship was always supervised, and a physical relationship beyond a few kisses was forbidden.

As well as through parental setups, couples would meet one another by attending events in the local hall. Dances and parties were for a long time the place to be if you were on the hunt for a potential partner. Either this, or a friend would set up a ‘blind date’ between you and someone with whom they thought you were compatible.

Children were generally educated in single sex schools, and on the whole women did not attend university until the mid-20th Century – and when they did, many of them lived in single sex colleges. Daily life and the workplace involved much less mixing with the opposite sex than it does today, and yet people were still able to meet one another, start dating and get married by simply getting out there and seeing what fish the sea had to offer.

Modern Dating Methods

So, how do modern dating methods differ from those of the past?

The popularity of online dating has gone from strength to strength ever since the inception of the internet. According to a survey by eharmony, by 2031 online dating apps and sites will account for half of all relationships.

Apps like Tinder and Bumble allow users to choose who they would like to date from a wide catalogue of users in the nearby area. Each user has a few tools to market themselves with in the hope of getting chosen: a small bio where they can write a few details about themselves, and a limited selection of photos showcasing their most charming smile and exciting endeavours.

Apps like these reflect the fast-paced, impatient world of internet users, allowing you to ‘swipe to like’ and make a snap decision based on every little detail.

Why Some People Are Fed Up with Digital Dating

It’s clear that online dating has had a significant impact on our attitude to romance and relationships. With many of us relying on the comfort of a screening process based on looks, there may well be negative implications for those who are thoroughly datable, yet don’t come across well on online platforms.

For this reason, many people are growing disillusioned with modern dating. Without the engagement of real-life meetings, where you are able to judge your compatibility with someone from a wide range of factors (eye contact, voice, conversation and general chemistry to name a few), it can be hard to get noticed.

Apps reward superficial traits – the majority of people will make a snap decision based on the first image of you they see. As well as this leaning towards superficiality, many users who are looking for genuinely meaningful relationships are becoming disheartened with the number of game-players who use online dating as a way to find casual hookups.

As well as this, attending a physical date is time-consuming and costly, and can feel like a real waste of time and money if you don’t enjoy yourself or make a meaningful connection!

Whatever Next?

So, what developments can we expect for the world of digital dating in the future? Well, one of the technologies that has been gaining some serious ground in recent times is Virtual Reality (VR). Could VR offer a new approach within the dating world too?

According to an article from nbcnews.com, a VR headset could transform online dating into a visceral experience for all. Forget the one-dimensional swipe-right culture, and say hello to a world where you can meet your potential partner on a virtual date in a far-off destination without having to leave the comfort of your living space.

It’s predicted that VR headsets could be the next big thing when it comes to online dating, as a safer and more reliable way to find and meet the person you want to form a relationship with.

Looking for success without the hassle of all the above?

If you’re time-challenged or fed up with the way this modern dating world is going, and want to find a long term prospect, why not taste a little of the old school and get a very personalised helping hand?

We talk to Kerensa Robertson from The Casting, an innovative specialist who headhunts for you to find your perfect partner. Kerensa says:

‘With time focussed on business and careers, many singles looking for love have little time to meet potential life partners. Internet dating has revolutionised the way we meet and turned dating from the much sought-after romantic frisson when ‘eyes meet across a room’ to a more prescriptive way of cross-checking criteria online, but many people want a better, more personalised, yet confidential approach and The Casting does the search for them’.

The Casting scrupulously vets and presents those matches that really have the right potential. You set the criteria and Kerensa and her team look within their own books or actively headhunt for potential matches. All of these matches are serious contenders who are looking for love and long-term relationships. Kerensa continues:

‘So many people have almost given up on dating. They believe the chances of meeting someone right is just not worth the effort of conducting the search. They may work long and hard, and very often don’t want an internet search if they’re professionals. Discretion is key!’

Ideal candidates for Kerensa are busy people, those who have tried other methods but with no success, or those who are fed up with not finding suitable candidates and still searching for love. Kerensa could be the helping hand you need:

‘My work involves a range of ways to attract the right people for you to meet based on everything you’ve told me – and I do the hard work’.

What’s the price you would pay to find the love of your life? As with all bespoke services, costs vary but works on registration fee, with monthly subscription and ultimate success fee. Discover more about Kerensa’s exclusive service by visiting The Casting.

The post Too Busy to Find the Love of Your Life? Don’t Worry, Help is At Hand! appeared first on City Man Magazine.

You can forget about finding your soulmate staring over the fruit section in the supermarket; you’re now far more likely to hook up with someone after spotting their dating profile online. It may sound unromantic but it’s a far more practical way to filter out those who you’re not compatible with. Where else can you instantly find out their aspirations for the future without sounding vaguely stalker-ish?!

A Dating Revolution

Trends really started to change in the mid-1990s when clicking and swiping online started to take off with companies such as match.com leading the way. Online dating took the slightly pathetic lonely heart column and gave it a cool, new revamp, making it a trendy way to find love rather than the desperate plea it was often viewed as before.

And online dating has followed the new cultural norms; you don’t have to be searching for your one true love to hook up with someone. Regardless of your sexual orientation, tastes, lifestyle choices or budget, there’s a dating app online to suit anyone and everyone. From the casual hookups found on Tinder and Grindr, to more serious searchers on site such as eHarmony

‘There are dating sites for various esoteric preferences, and sites on which one can find more than one partner at a time. There are sites for women who want a man to father a child with them but not become a romantic partner. There are services for Jews, Christians, Muslims, Trump supporters, people who self-select as intelligent and vegans. There’s BikerKiss (“Two wheels, two hearts, one road”), FarmersOnly (“Single in the country”) and Ugly Bug Ball (“Dating for the aesthetically average”)’

The Economist – ‘How the internet has changed dating’ (Aug 2018)

Although online dating started out with a real stigma, it’s become far more socially acceptable and now it’s the norm to check out profiles online if you’re a singleton. According to one study, 5% of people admitted to meeting their spouse online with 15% of Americans saying they’ve used online dating.

Of course, the digital revolution hasn’t just made it easier to find love, lust or whatever else you’re searching for, it’s also a researcher’s paradise. With piles of data instantly accessible, it’s now easier than ever to compile stats on the dating habits of the nation. What is exciting, however, is that the statistics have shown that internet dating has been successful to maintain long-term relationships

Mr Thomas and Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University, work with data from a survey ‘How Couples Meet and Stay Together’, (Conducted by GFK, a research firm). They noticed that married people who met their partner online reported slightly higher relationship quality than those who met offline, and consequently were less likely to have broken up after a year of marriage.

But chatting online only gets you so far, then comes the first date!

To take the seriousness out of this article, here are some light heard recommendations for the daunting first date, lets face it, its hard already plucking up the courage to go to them, let alone finding the right place to go! Will you match up to your date’s expectations? And will you match up to theirs? Or even worse, will you discover that you’ve been cat-fished?

We can’t help you with any of the above questions, but here is that helping hand, planning the perfect place.

Scarfes Bar at Rosewood London -Holborn

As winter is coming, why not settle in by the fire at the romantic setting of Scarfes bar, the large lounges will surely bring you and your date closer together. It’s like a giant library in a grand old house but with a busy buzz without getting too crowded. With lots of art deco details, beautiful old books and live music throughout the week, this place will definitely impress your date.

There is a real gentlemen’s vibe here and the cocktail list is surprisingly innovative, it doesn’t rely on the straight classics so you can experiment with one or three concoctions here.  Luxurious, great atmosphere and its central location, this could be a great place for the first, second or third date!

Street Xo – West End

If first impressions are to go by, this place is striking, a golden staircase leading to a dimly lit basement, nothing is ordinary here, dazzling neon signs, industrial but cosy, eccentric and crazy! The show begins with straight jacket style uniforms and wild cocktails, if this does not bag you a second date then we give up! Unless you didn’t want a second date, then this could be an expensive first!

Something casual to ‘see how it goes?’ try Disrepute, a little hideaway in Soho, plush, crushed velvet furniture and lots of booths to enjoy a cosy encounter!

Before you scroll past to another venue that sounds more affordable, hold your horses. Knightsbridge is indeed one of the wealthiest and most affluent areas of London – and that’s why it’s the perfect spot to impress your date.

You might feel a little out of place at first, surrounded by some of the richest people in the world swanning around in luxury cars and flashing designer togs, but relax and you’ll find some glorious places to grab a drink and a bite to eat.

Buddha Bar – Knightsbridge

If you enjoy a spot of tranquil but with a funky vibe, head over to Buddha Bar (but call ahead to check there’s no private events booked). Enjoy an impressive cocktail like the kiwi kukama (in-house infused citron vodka, elderflower liqueur, fresh kiwi, fresh cucumber and lemon bitters) or a decanted devil (AquaRiva reposado tequila shaken with Grand Marnier, jalapeno, lime juice and agave nectar, and smoked with pecan wood chips). Opt to enjoy an Asian inspired dinner here.

Skylon, Royal Festival Hall – Southbank

If you’re a native Londoner, the idea of heading over to the Southbank might sound like a bad idea, jostling against crowds of tourists and picking from a selection of average-but-overpriced chain restaurants.

However, if you know where to look you will find some real gems dotted around, and you can preface it with a nice stroll along the river.

If you and your date are thespians – read that carefully! – you might want to pay The Globe a visit first. The home of Shakespeare on the Southbank, there’s a year-round programme of events which include poetry, dance and theatre.

Ignore the mainstream restaurants that are packed with hordes of tourists and head to Skylon, found on the first floor of the Royal Festival Hall. With magnificent views over the river, it’s a romantic spot that’s sure to win you extra brownie points.

Zigfrid Von Underbelly – Shoreditch

If your plan is to impress your date by throwing some shapes on the dance floor, there’s no other place to go than Shoreditch.

The very epitome of modern cool, you’ll have the pick of nightspots, pubs, and clubs with some casual eateries too. The Book Club in Leonard Street is a nice, relaxed way to start the night, and you can get to know your digital date a bit better over a sharing platter. What better way to get ready to bust out your best moves than by feeding your face first?

For creative cocktails like no other, pop into Nightjar for a swift drink before heading over to the uber-cool Zigfrid Von Underbelly. Open 7 days a week with an underground club downstairs and a lounge bar and DJ upstairs, you’ll be getting your groove on until the sun comes up.

Watch This Space…

In the meantime, here at City Man, we love nothing more than to give Cupid a helping hand, so keep an eye out for future features about digital dating in the modern era.

The post Swipe Right – Taking your digital match on a real date! appeared first on City Man Magazine.